i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
