dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
