Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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