this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
