You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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