What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
