After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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