I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I think my moral compass just broke
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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