i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
