ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
