Having a random hookup so left but love u
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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