awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
