Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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