Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
