Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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