how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
