Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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