got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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