Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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