so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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