honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
