if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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