she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
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