Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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