He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
