soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We need a shit load of segways right now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
