My room smells like vodka and shame
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
