True but thats because hes a fetus.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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