i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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