Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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