a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
