Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
