Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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