Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
