I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
