Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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