so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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