Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
