The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
