i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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