That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
