Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
