you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
