and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
either way he was missing a nipple.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
