I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
