she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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