just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
