they need to just BURY HIM!
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
