life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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