Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
