my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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