guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
